my name is lesley
Hello,I am not my story and you are not your story AND it IS something that shapes up and gives us somewhere to start in the unravelling.
We are all sexual beings and are born EROTICALLY INNOCENT. Then what happens? We don’t have any control over what happens to our innocence in our early years. There are many versions of trauma and how it comes to be stored in the body. This is a little snippet of my journey. Now, I believe that it’s been there all the time waiting to be rediscovered.
I empower people to live in possibility with pleasure being the cutting edge frontier for building a relaxed, robust, unshakeable
body home baseMy family was loving, amazing in many ways and did their best.
For me, I was known as the neighbourhood screamer. Then I stopped screaming.
I learned that staying quiet kept me safe. We were doers. There was not a lot of room for speaking about feelings.
To win love and attention, I did things ‘perfectly’. School, sports, textile creations… Why am I not happy?
EROTIC ACTIVATION happens (aka puberty). I think its hard to understand these changes with the emotional confusion.
Then comes…EROTIC EXPLORATION which is like it sounds…a time for discovery. This is even more difficult to understand without a language of emotions.
To keep safe, sex was to be for marriage. I broke rules and felt wrong.
To avoid sin, masturbation was discouraged. I was confused when I touched myself.
To keep going, emotions were buried somewhere in the body waiting until the body screamed loud enough to be heard.
Life keeps happening…following all of the rules and social expectations.
Get married.
Have a son.
Have a daughter.
Have two more sons.
Be satisfied, you’ve got it all.
Amazing times and stressful times. Life.
Why am I not happy?
To keep control, I fix my body with exercise and food.
My body is broken. Why doesn’t it orgasm magically like in the movies?
Depression happens and my body screams for attention. My liver aches. Interesting that the liver is all about lack of control, anger and then learning to transform it to kindness and radical self-acceptance.
Teaching my children about sexuality is difficult. I know that there is a problem.
Part of me says enough and decides to enjoy whatever pleasurable sensations fill my body. The next question begs to be asked…. There’s got to be more to sex than this? EROTIC EXPANSION
Dr. Saida Desilets enters my life with Jade Egg Mastery. A teacher speaking a truth that resonates in my body.
I prioritize pleasure in my body. A 10 year depression disappears quickly. I’m intrigued.
Truth begs to be followed to continue growing and expanding emotionally and erotically. What is sexual sovereignty? A question that takes 2 years to grasp.
My marriage is stressful, my relationships with my children are difficult. My teens get into trouble and are adversely impacted by porn.
My heart begins to open, impatience with my body and life begins to fall away. I learn something called introspective awareness. More curiosity about what is possible emerges.
Finally, I understand why choosing to be sexually sovereign isn’t just a simple choice!
Little by little I had to and still am uncovering all of the conditioning that keeps me from being ME dipping into EROTIC WISDOM.
The best adventure by far has been building a strong HOME BASE that knows the current of pleasure, that is magnetic, with a solid foundation with the capacity to nurture all of my loved ones near and far.
FREEDOM. 